CAR LOAN SECURED; NOW TO JUST FIND A CAR
Bev and I got approved today for a car loan, so that’s off the table. Now all I have to do is find a used vehicle which pleases me and I’m good to go back on the road . . . or . . . I have something percolating in the back of my brain. I’m not going to share it right now, not really sure how I feel about it, or if it is a serious percolation or a whim percolation. I’ll let you know, but for sure, a used car will be purchased in a week or two.
TRAVELING AS A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC
“Hello darkness my old friend” . . . I’m sure most of you recognize the opening line from Simon & Garfunkel’s smash hit “The Sound of Silence.” The line is a reference to a man sleeping, with a dream about to unfold, but it could just as easily describe my feelings back when I was an alcoholic. Alcohol was my best friend, and I embraced every meeting we had. Slowly slipping into oblivious, darkness, was like hugging a friend, and I found great solace in alcohol’s arms.
One of the only serious concerns I had when we first embarked on this traveling adventure, knowing I would be traveling alone a great amount of time, was whether it would affect my sobriety of seventeen years . . . could I be trusted to travel alone and do so without drinking?
Alcoholism is a physical addiction and a psychological obsession. The physical dependency can literally be washed out of the body in three days. However, without tackling the psychological part of addiction, we alcoholics will return and return and return again to the crutch we have grown so dependent upon.
I am seventeen years removed from the last taste of alcohol, but I am only one drink removed from spiraling out of control once again. Knowing that as a fact, which it is, what, then, keeps me from taking that first drink?
I simply have no desire to return to that lifestyle. I don’t need it, I no longer love it, and I have found a substitution for it . . . love of myself.
If I did not love myself, it would make no difference at all where I was or whether I was alone or with a community . . . I would find a way to once again embrace the darkness. So, to address the main issue, traveling as a recovering alcoholic is not a concern, is not a danger, and is no more risky than walking by a tavern or attending a party where alcohol is served. Alcohol is everywhere. It is pervasive in our society. If I want it, it is not hard to find at all.
But I don’t want it.
AN ONLINE MESSAGE FROM A FRIEND
The friend’s name is Heidi. She’s also one of our patrons on Patreon. We’re talking about a serious supporter and woman I admire greatly.
Heidi read the last blog post where I mentioned that our YouTube channel is on life support, and I was thinking of trying another YouTube channel about music. And Heidi was having none of it. LOL I’m laughing while I think about her comment which was, I might add, shared with love and respect.
It went something like this:
“Bill, you are a writer.”
It was a little longer than that, but the gist of the matter was to consider tossing YouTube to the scrapheap and concentrate on what I do well.
I admire Heidi. I mentioned that earlier, but it bears repeating. She would not share a comment like that if she did not feel strongly about it.
And . . . I agree with her.
I am a writer, and I’ll tell you something without a hint of ego, I’m a damned good writer. I may not sell a ton of books; never will make the bestseller’s list; but fame does not a good writer make. I will stack my creative writing up against anyone else you might mention, and I’ll hold my own. I know for a fact I’m better than James Patterson, and that charlatan has sold tens of millions of books . . . so there!
Anyway, something to ponder. I am seriously leaning towards taking Heidi’s advice. Writing is what I do. Videos were a fun distraction, something to do while traveling, but writing is where this boy’s heart is.
Besides, and I mean this in all seriousness, a good writer can create a video with their words.